The Big Winners
Which category are you going to win?
Which category are you going to win?
This year's categories are listed below.
Not sure what you should grow for Bashio? Skim through the list below for some ideas!
The über-stache. This is the one, gentlemen. The mustache that transcends categorization. To be nominated is an honor. To win is to find one's self in truly rarefied air. Selleck, Reynolds, Elliot, Dali, Yosemite; make no mistake, these mustaches are icons. This achievement is indeed epic, and the recognition is lasting. So permanent is the resulting aura of greatness that a single win is tantamount to induction into a hall of fame. Ergo, the notion of a repeat becomes redundant and nonsensical. Greatness is great, now and forever.
This used to be exclusively a mustache contest. Over the years things have changed, I know that I have. I reckon if you take a gander at yourself, you'll find you have too. Hopefully, for the better on both our accounts. As we wander through this life, sometimes stumbling or lost, but always looking to move forward and trying our darnedest to be better, I hope that we all realize life is too dang short to exclude people on account of their being different. So, I say it's high time we broaden our horizons and welcome our bearded brothers with a firm handshake and a howdy'do. And, well, you know what they say about beards, don't you? They grow on you!
Using popular culture as a foil, to look deep into the personality of one's mustache, seek out its core, and through artistry and ingenuity, bring to vivid life the fundamental elements of the 'stache. That is the charge for contenders here. No simple costume contest, this. Without careful, introspective deliberation, the juxtaposition of the mustache to the accoutrements will simply amplify the incongruencies between the two. Careful consideration here however, will yield fantastic results. Look to the Colonel, and be inspired.
Is your mustache as thick as the brambles in the Scottish lowlands? Could you wake up in the morning clean shaven and carve a rocking chair out of a solid tree trunk, then sand it to a glossy smooth finish using nothing but your upper lip by 5 o'clock? If so, this just may be the category for you.
Dedication. Resolve. Unyielding determination. These are the characteristics that define winners here. So you can count the number of hairs on your lip with one hand. That just makes each of them that much more special. Hope springs eternal.
Let's not mince words, here. We live in hard times. For reasons unknown, the mustache has fallen out of favor in the majority of social circles. And try as we might, gentlemen, there's no use kidding ourselves; it's up to the ladies to open the door to broad social acceptance. The key to that door is this man's 'stache. It's suave, it's smooth, it's sexy, and it has a certain je ne sais quoi that drives the ladies crazy!
This mustache conveys an air of responsibility. Without it, you're just another punk kid, playing your music too loud, drinking, and staying out all hours of the night. With it, people look at you and think, "Now theres a guy who's got his act together. Financially responsible, drives a nice family sedan. Probably has a wife, 2 kids, and dog, and lives in a very tasteful two-story colonial in the 'burbs."
The 'stache is all the wardrobe this guy needs.
You gotta be in tune with nature, man. You can't put the mustache in a box. Its gotta be free. Free to run over the lip, curl through the air, flair out like a bird on the wing, or flow down to the chin like a glorious waterfall. Open your mind and become one with the mustache.
For those brave souls who fly the mustache flag day in and day out, year after year, and with the self-confidence and assurance that can come only from the knowledge that they and the mustache are two parts of the same whole.